Character Stats and Profiles Wiki

In the past, we have encouraged users to create new pages for powers and abilities they thought the wiki lacked. However, as of now, we want new pages to be approved by the staff, meaning that new powers and abilities pages must be suggested. This can be done in our official Discord server in the suggestion channel, or messaged to a staff member. Of course, users can always create blogs about powers and abilities to include in their profiles if they don't want to attempt creating official pages. Linking to other wikis' powers and abilities pages is also permitted.

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Character Stats and Profiles Wiki
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BetterChild
Hey, Mom! What's with all the sauerkraut?

BetterAdult
I, HATE, SAUERKRAUT!

Summary[]

Miracle Machine is the main protagonist in the music video Albuquerque: THE MOVIE, he also is the main protagonist in Everything You Know Is Wrong and makes a brief appearance in Polkamania!. He spent his childhood living in a box under the stairs in his mother's house, during which he was fed a diet of entirely sauerkraut until he was 26.5 years old, and the very next day, he won a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque, New Mexico in a contest.

Powers and Stats[]

Tier List: 9-C | High 8-C+ - 8-B+

Key: Child | Adult

Name: Miracle Machine

Origin: Albuquerque: THE MOVIE

Gender: Male

Age: Unknown (Child), 26.5 (Adult)

Classification: Human

Power and abilities: Superhuman Physical Characteristics, Natural Weaponry (Via teeth), Fourth Wall Awareness (Speaking to the audience), Resistance to Fire Manipulation, (put out a grease fire with his face and seemingly felt no pain despite his face being burnt)

Attack Potency: Street Level (Should be as powerful as he is durable) | Large Building Level+ - City Block Level+ (Can harm the One-Nostril man who can harm him back. Easily tore off a homeless guy's Jugular vein)

Speed: Below Average Human (Should be comparable to average children) | Average Human

Lifting Strength: Below Average Human | Average Human

Striking Strength: Street Level | Large Building level+ - City Block Level+

Durability: Street Level (Withstood his mother's yell which was so powerful it sent a table flying this fast and was seemingly uninjured by it.) | Large building level+ - City Block Level+ (Survived an explosion this big while having his Tray table up and his seat in the upright position as protection)

Stamina: Below Average | Superhuman (Crawled for 3 full days while carrying his Leather suitcase, his Garment bag, Tenor Saxophone, his 12-pound bowling ball and his lucky snorkel all while being injured on top of that)

Range: Below Average Standard Melee Range | Standard Melee Range, Extended Melee Range With Chainsaw

Standard Equipment: None Notable | Headphones, Leather suitcase, Garment bag, Tenor Saxophone, 12-pound Bowling ball, Lucky Autographed Glow-in-the-dark snorkel and Chainsaw

Intelligence: Below Average | At least Below Average (Should be more intelligent than he was before, but not by a lot. Bought a box of one dozen starving crazed weasels without any sense of caution and was oblivious to someone yelling and screaming in pain due to him biting off his jugular vein)

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